Dear people of Facebook

  • Nobody wants to read about your troubles, problems and hard-done-by life.
  • Girls - If you upload countless photographs of you showing a large percentage of cleavage, don’t act surprised when random creepy guys add you.
  • Making a group on Facebook does not make you a professional photographer.
  • We don’t care what you wear, so stop uploading a photograph of your outfit before every single night out.
  • If you’re going to speak English, speak English. That means using proper spelling, punctuation and grammar.
  • If you make a status saying you’re angry/upset and someone asks what’s wrong, don’t say “nothing”, otherwise why bother making the status in the first place?
  • If you constantly change your relationship status every week, give up.
  • If you do happen to break up with your partner, the counter stops. So don’t go posting soppy “A year together today” posts unless you have been together consistently for a year.
  • Boys - adding girls just because they’re attractive is pathetic.
  • Facebook is for socialising, not porn.
  • If you’re going to spam, just deactivate your account from the start.
  • Nobody wants to see your “six pack”.
  • Having a photograph of yourself holding alcohol is fine, but don’t automatically think that means you’re a “badass”.
  • Remember that Facebook is not a court case, don’t take everything literally or too seriously. Have a sense of humour.
  • If you’re unemployed, you’re unemployed. You do not work as a “Full time mummy!” or “Fuckin’ Bitches”, they are not jobs.
  • Nobody cares what song you’re listening to. 
  • Do not invite everyone on your friends list to every single event in the world.
  • Contrary to popular belief, if someone likes your post, that does not mean they fancy you.
  • Just because I’m online does not mean I’m in the mood to talk.
  • If I delete you as a friend, that’s because you’re not my friend. Do not try to re-add me.
  • Have common sense. For God’s sake, have common sense.

  • 9 notes
  • 03 June 2012
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